The big 3 – 0! In honor of turning 30 today, I thought I’d share 30 things I’ve learned in the last decade. I always feel reflective around my birthday, and this year especially so. For me, my 20s were all about change, healing, getting to know myself and learning to love that person. Oftentimes, much is made in our culture about our 20s, and how they’re our “prime” and the “fun” years. Not only is that just completely arbitrary, it can also be alienating if your 20s have been a turbulent time. So I’m glad to be getting older and more comfortable showing up as myself, and I can’t wait to see what this chapter in life will bring!
Here are some lessons I’m taking with me into my next decade:
Age is truly just a number. It sounds cliche, but much of the meaning we assign to age is just that: assigned.
We’re all just figuring it out as we go.
Comfy shoes are so important! In my early 20s, I could often be found in a 4-inch heel. Now, I’m usually in sneakers, a flat sandal, or a low-heel ankle boot. I love knowing that I can walk for awhile and I’m ready if the day turns into an adventure!
Personal style takes time to curate.
Learning how to cook is worth it. Especially during this time when we’re cooking all of our meals at home, I’m finding myself so glad that I put in the effort to learn. There’s definitely no need to be an amazing cook unless you enjoy it, but being confident in the kitchen and knowing how to make staple recipes will save stress in the long run!
Being mean to yourself simply doesn’t work. Guide yourself with kindness.
Time is a fluid thing. As a kid, even a month felt like a journey. Now, it feels like I blink and another year has passed. If time is stretched or compressed by how we perceive it, then I think it’s even more important to savor the moments of joy in our lives.
Some items are worth splurging on. For me, this includes: eyeshadow, foundation, skincare, bags, hypoallergenic jewelry that doesn’t tarnish.
You can be soft and strong at the same time.
Deep down, your heart knows what it is you need. You just have to be brave enough to listen.
Do not underestimate the life-changing power of comfy bras and underwear.
Your brain isn’t fully grown until you’re 25. Yup, 25! We don’t need all this pressure in our early 20s.
As you get older, what other people think of you just stops mattering so much.
Some things can’t be fixed, they can only be carried. But in carrying them is an opportunity to become stronger and more empathetic, because we are all carrying something.
There is beauty everywhere if you look for it.
Nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health for. Nothing.
In all areas of life: what works for someone else won’t necessarily work for you, and what works for you may not work for them.
The state of my home has a profound affect on my mood and well-being, so decorating, cleaning, and organizing are acts of self-care for me.
Healing isn’t linear.
Twisting yourself up like a pretzel to fit someone else’s idea of you is beyond exhausting, unsustainable, and never worth it.
Wearing clothes that feel like “me” brings so much joy into my days.
You’ll surprise yourself. I’m a lot different than I pictured myself being at 30 – I certainly never thought I’d take photos of myself and post them on the internet!
There’s enough success to go around.
Your reality and someone’s reality can be different but both are still real.
While there’s a kind of comfort to be found in black and white thinking, and the illusion of certainty it gives, real life is messy and wild and full of beautiful contradictions.
You can be a feminist and still care about fashion, hair, and makeup.
Most of the things we worry about never happen (still working on this one to be honest!)
You can miss the true beauty of a moment by focusing on how it does or doesn’t match up to your expectations (I’ve lost many).
You can’t outrun your truth, and peace can only come once you embrace it.
